When sh*t happens

For the past year, I’ve been working my way through a tough situation. I can’t give you details out of respect for others’ privacy, but you’ve probably dealt with your own version of it.

You know, situations where there are hurt feelings and anger. Where you have to come face-to-face with how you’ve contributed to the situation and the state of your life in ways that are embarrassing and hard to look at. Where it feels really intense sometimes and the conversations are tough. 

My life is an experiment in conscious living, especially at times like this.

I’m constantly looking at myself and my situation to see what’s being called for and where I need to expand. I find or create tools and practices that lead to real change, and then I share them with my clients. I cultivate perspectives that align with growth and expansion, and I bring them to everything I do.

Just a little while ago, someone told me that he’s impressed with how, when each new thing comes up in my life, I just roll with it and expand into it. That felt great to hear! I sort of laughed to myself with the thought, “There’s a little more to it than that!”

Later, I had a horrified thought. I don’t want to be yet another coach who implies that life is always rosy. Not talking about how I struggle gives the message that if you struggle, you’re doing it wrong. Or worse, that you’re wrong.

As I wrote in the last article about stretching into your Discomfort Zone (read it here), if you’re committed to living a bigger life, you’re going to have times when the fear seems big, the progress feels small, and you want to go hide in a blanket fort. With ice cream. And chips.
That’s just how it goes when you’re stretching.

So many coaches and energy workers talk about “being in the flow” like it’s the holy grail, and that once you have it, life is easy peasy.

I want to be very clear on this. Being “in the flow” doesn’t mean that you never feel sad, unhappy, overwhelmed or scared again. Being “aware” doesn’t mean you never cry.

We are spiritual beings having a human experience – and having a human experience means that sometimes you feel pain.

There was a long stretch where I thought I was doing the right thing by always looking at the bright side, the spiritual perspective. You know, being enlightened.

What I was really doing was avoiding. Avoiding the pain, the anger, the hard conversations and the messy realities.

The great thing is that when you’re committed to living an authentic, bigger life, you call in (consciously or not) whatever you need to break you out of your old perspectives.

And it works. You get shattered.

Sometimes you get shattered by something that happens in your life right now. Sometimes you’re broken apart by finally feeling the emotions from something that happened decades ago.

Sometimes you’re shattered by an excruciating loss. Sometimes by a gain so big that it forces you to let go of all your old images of yourself and expand your ability to receive.

It always means looking to see what fears you’re holding onto. It requires doing the deep, uncomfortable work of looking at how you’re limiting yourself and where you’re holding onto a victim story.

And very, very, very often, it involves tears as emotions are felt, stories are released, and something new emerges.

The ability to be with the intensity of the experience, to stay present to it without distracting yourself OR letting it become your new victim story, is what allows you to expand.
It’s like sitting on the beach in the surf, letting a wave crash around and over you, and then letting it recede and take with it whatever it broke loose.

Each time you do this, you become more free.

Each time you do this, you become lighter, more authentic, more able to show up as all of who you are.

Each time you do this, you get access to all the energy you’ve been using to keep the old pattern and stories in place, energy you can now use to create what you want in the world.

Your life becomes more and more aligned with the truth of who you are, and you show up more and more authentically.​​

And it gets easier and easier to let go.

This is the deep work I do with clients.

With love, kindness and strength, I accompany clients into the spaces where they’ve been scared to go where we look at what they’ve been scared to see. The result is that they’re forever freed from that looming shadow.

I teach them how to roll with the new (and old) things that come up in their lives and expand into them. As a client just wrote me:

Recently I had a medical scare and handled it with much more ease than I would have 6 months ago.  I knew that my vibrations were growing healthier and more stable, so I didn’t believe they were going to find what they were looking for.  I was right.  I’m fine.

Thank you for sharing your gifts, joy, humor, wisdom and grace!  Learning from you has been a joy!

If you’re ready for this level of life-changing work, let’s talk. I have 3 slots open for new clients before the end of the year, and one is already spoken for. If one is yours, schedule a complimentary call with me. We’ll make sure we’re a good fit.

Free yourself from your old stories. Reclaim your power. Show up as who you truly, gloriously are.

I look forward to talking with you soon.

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