Haven’t we all heard it?
“Focus on the positive. Stay positive. Don’t let negative thoughts attract the stuff you don’t want.”
So much of what I’ve read and heard over the years has said (or implied) that if you just stay positive and keep saying upbeat mantras, then you’ll attract great things into your life.
I have an issue with that.
You see, after years and years of study and transformative experiences, I’ve seen that every single one of us is a beautiful, powerful, radiant being. We’re each a brilliant light.
Just breathe that in a moment.
YOU are a beautiful, powerful, radiant being.
YOU are a brilliant light.
Now, is that how we always experience ourselves? No. Sometimes it’s not even close.
But that doesn’t mean it’s not true.
What happens is that stuff can cover up our radiance. You know the kind of stuff I’m talking about. The fears. The unresolved gunk from the past. The thoughts like, “I’m not good enough. I’m not enough. Who am I to be the owner of a successful company? I can’t do this.” All this keeps us from experiencing our magnificence.
Sometimes the layer is thick, sometimes it’s thin. Sometimes it’s mostly in some spots or areas. Sometimes it’s all over. It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t change our essential nature, just our experience of it.
And our experience of the stuff feels so real. And sometimes it’s painful. The loss, the sense of separation, the doubts.
What I’ve seen so often is people trying to cover this stuff with a veneer of positive thinking. They take on happy, cheerful thoughts, hoping to attract what they want. Doing what they think is the right way to do it. Heck, I’ve done it myself!
But it doesn’t work because it’s just a veneer. Sooner or later, it’s going to crack. Sooner or later, it wears thin. And the ick below it comes through.
In fact, when we just put a positive thought over a fear or doubt instead of addressing it, our focus, our energy becomes muddled and conflicted. Our writings and our interactions with others simply lack clarity.
Now, let’s add in another piece.
When we believe we need to focus on the positive, we tend to see negative thoughts as bad and wrong. But we have them. So we end up trying to push them away. Deny that they exist. Hide them. Run from them.
This sets up internal conflict. We’re trying to get away from our own thoughts and feelings, which is something we can never truly do.
We’re setting ourselves up for internal struggle. And failure.
It’s like trying to walk forward while being pulled backward. You just don’t get very far.
When we push our thoughts and feelings down, they become whisperings in the dark. You’re not good enough. You can’t do this. You’ll always be a failure. It’s very hard to deal directly with whispers.
So what’s the alternative?
The alternative is to accept the stuff.
Bring the thoughts, feelings, fears out of the dark and into the light of awareness. Look the ick in the eye. See it for what it is – your thoughts and feelings in this moment, not the truth of who you are.
When we bring it out of the dark and into the light of conscious awareness, its intensity is immediately diminished. If you say, “I’m not good enough” over and over, its hold is loosened. It becomes lighter.
This is part of a deep type of energetic clearing.
Sometimes, clients are extremely hesitant to share their negative thoughts and feelings because they don’t want to complain. There are some big differences between being with a negative thought and complaining.
When we complain, we’re doing at least one of the following:
- Blaming someone else for what’s happened or is happening in our lives, how we’re feeling, and/or how we’re acting.
- Trying to enroll others in our story (sometimes even ourselves), often about why we’re stuck.
- Distracting ourselves from a deeper fear, thought or feeling.
What I’m talking about doesn’t involve any of those. It’s simply acknowledging what’s there.
And what really surprises my clients is how they can go from having all this ick, all these intense thoughts and feelings at the beginning of a session, to feeling peaceful, open and clear by the end.
That’s what happens when the feelings dissolve and the thoughts clear. What you’re left with is you. Your magnificence shines through more and more. You shine through more and more. You’re more comfortable and centered. You’re happier.
And you naturally radiate love and positive energy, because that’s who you are. It simply flows from inside of you without effort, without trying. Without putting anything “on”.