I recently hired a new coach. We’ve worked together several times so far, and I’m really enjoying our process because she offers new insights into the way the world perceives me that I hadn’t previously realized and she relates to me as the greatest version of myself.
I’ve heard people say that the role of a coach is to mirror back to you what you’re projecting into the world. That’s a wonderful role, but I think that coaching is about more than that.
When you work with a coach, that person is first and foremost seeing you clearly and giving you the experience of truly being seen as your most powerful self; your greatest possibility.
Step into Your Greatest Self
Normally in life we become so involved in our own experience and the experiences of the people directly around us that we don’t stop and fully see each other. We get caught up in the “what” and miss the “who”.
Having a person in your life whose sole purpose is to “see you” without personal bias is very powerful. And it even goes a step further than that.
You see, a reflection in a mirror shows us how others see us, but WE don’t see our REFLECTION. We may become fixated on the hair that doesn’t look good or the teeth that aren’t straight, or whatever picky little things stand out to us. But we miss the sparkle in our eyes and the gentleness of our smile and the openness of the way we’re standing.
A good coach will see these things – the important things – and highlight them for us, making sure we take them in and appreciate them.
A REALLY good coach takes it a step further to help us see the profound impact we have on other people. Not just our reflection, but what we bring out in others.
A great coach helps us consciously and determinedly share more of our best self out in the world.
Self-Awareness is Different from Narcissism
I once heard someone say that having a coach is narcissistic. That person believed that hiring another person to tell you how great you are all the time is a selfish act.
This made me think of the mythological story of Narcissus, a youth who caught his reflection in a pool and fell in love. He had no connection to the outer world because he was so taken with the image reflected back to him in the pool. This is not what coaching is all about.
A coach gives you the self-awareness to understand the effect your behavior has on other people so that you can be in healthy relationships that honor yourself and others. She will give you strategies and steps to accomplish whatever it is the two of you are working on together, and encourage you to move powerfully in the direction you choose to go.
Claim Your Space
Someone who has been down the path you’re currently traveling can show you the places where you might get stuck. She can show you the easiest and most effective ways to accomplish your goals, or help you get out of a downward spiral.
This is especially helpful for anyone who owns a business because in some way, when you own a business you have to present yourself publicly, whether you work one-on-one with your clients or you give talks on stage.
Having a person in your life whose intention is to help you claim your space so you can thrive is hugely beneficial. It takes real courage to let yourself shine. Having someone see you for your greatest potential and support you on your journey can keep you from doing all the metathinking and downward spiraling I mentioned last week!
As you can see, I truly believe in the coaching model, and I highly recommend finding the right person for you.
If you think I might be that person, I’d love to spend some time on the phone with you to find out if we’re a good match. Even if we’re not, you’ll come away with some great clarity about what direction you want to go in and what’s in the way of your getting there. Click HERE to set up a time to chat with me this week.