It’s amazing how many different things we do to try and separate ourselves from our emotions. We question ourselves, we spend tremendous amounts of time trying to figure ourselves out intellectually, we numb ourselves through food, or staying busy, or playing games on the computer…
A lot of these “busy” activities come from our fear of our feelings. So many people have thoughts like, “If I start feeling this, it will overwhelm me.” Or, “If I start crying, I’ll never stop.”
It’s understandable to have the sense that the emotion is bigger than we are — sometimes feelings are very intense.
However… not feeling them doesn’t make them go away! It just pushes them under the surface where they fester. And it takes so much of our energy to keep emotions pushed down that pretty soon not only are we feeling numb, but we’re also feeling exhausted and tapped out.
Emotions Help Us Connect with Others
The funny paradox about the whole idea of ignoring our feelings is that what we want more than anything in life as human beings is to be seen for who we are and to connect genuinely with others.
When we push away our emotions, we numb ourselves to who we are and the feelings that come with our truest self. How can someone love and honor us for who we are… if we don’t even love and honor ourselves for who we are?
A lot of what I do with clients is to help them feel their feelings in a really safe way. We don’t ever have to “dig” for feelings, because what we’re ready to feel will come up when given the space.
And it’s amazing how heavy our emotions can be.
One of the things I hear most often from clients is how much lighter they feel at the end of a session than they felt in the beginning. Lighter, calmer, more peaceful, and yet more energized.
Emotions Guide Us in the Right Direction
One of the most wonderful things about emotions is that they are marvelous signposts that show us where we’re off track, where a boundary has been crossed, where we need to establish a boundary, or where we’re not living true to ourselves.
For instance, if you find yourself feeling jealous of a colleague, that’s a wonderful gift – the jealousy shows you what you really want and don’t have in your life right now.
Often, it’s not that you’re really jealous of the other person, it’s that you’re jealous of what they’re doing, how they’re being, or something they’ve created in their life that you feel like you’re missing in yours.
Use the Emotional Information
A lot of times we’re simply not willing to feel the emotions. But even if we do open ourselves up to the emotion, we’re often not willing to make the changes we need to make as the emotions indicate.
So, you may realize, “Oh gosh, I’m feeling jealous of this person because I want an opportunity like that.” But then you get scared or feel blocked about creating those opportunities for whatever reason.
You choose not to follow through on the information you’ve been given. The emotions increase and that’s usually the point where the television comes on, the food comes out, or the computer games switch on.
It often takes an outside perspective and guidance to move through the emotions on a deep level – and any of it you do helps. To get started for yourself, download my PowerShift Starter Kit and start reconnecting with your own power now.