It’s Not About You, It’s About the Fit

aboutthefitOne of my clients recently started reassembling her team after letting a few people go.

Because of the work we’d been doing together and the work she’d been doing on her own to clear out and understand her old ways of operating, she was able to see that these people weren’t a great fit and that it was time to make a change. Simple.

Not long ago, however, she would have created a whole drama around the situation. Questioning her own worth as a boss and whether she was really meant to run a company. She would have told herself that she sucked at being a business owner and should just get a job somewhere.

She would have made it all about her own failure.

But now she knows that the problem wasn’t her or even her team members. It was all about fit.

Don’t Make It About Your Own Lack

Whether we’re the ones giving it or getting it, most of us have a difficult time with rejection. We tend to take it very personally and make it about what we lack as human beings. We think, “I didn’t prepare enough! My energy was off. I made a bad choice! I suck at this!”

Or we blame the other people involved. We say, “That interviewer is a jerk,” or, “That woman has never liked me,” or “My employees just don’t listen.”

When we get caught in the trap of blaming and shaming, we stay locked in that space and we continue to carry those feelings of rejection, hurt and blame along with us. We don’t even realize how much they cloud our thinking or what it is we’re creating in our lives when we come from there.

How clear, present and grounded do you think you’ll be in your next meeting or client session or hiring interview when you’re still living in the last one that didn’t go your way? How well will you be listening? What kind of decisions will you be making?

Is this the way you want to run your business? Is this how you want to live your life?

Clear Your Energy and Do Your Inner Work

When we take the time to do the necessary personal work, we become better able to stay present and grounded in stressful situations and see that rejection is almost always about fit. And that’s all.

It doesn’t mean that we did anything wrong or that there’s something wrong with us or with the person who didn’t give us that opportunity we so desperately wanted. It doesn’t mean that the person you hired who didn’t work out is a horrible person.

It means it wasn’t a good fit.

When you can see this, you’re empowered. Empowered to take action sooner. Empowered to look at hiring strategies and to get greater clarity about what you really want and are looking for.

You get to stop beating yourself up and simply move on to finding a solution.

Are you carrying around a lot of hurt feelings and past upsets? Do you see this affecting your ability to stay present and grounded in the face of new experiences? If so, it’s time to clear some emotional baggage from your space. Sign up for my complimentary Power Shift Starter Kit HERE and let me know in the comments section how it works for you!

Leave a Reply