Recently, I heard a woman whom most people would consider very successful say, “I’m just a big chicken.”
When someone else asked if that’s the energy she wanted to put out, she said, “I’m just being honest.”
Now, I KNOW that there are times when we all feel scared. It’s great to recognize that. In fact, I TEACH people to recognize those times, because fear is the #1 thing that holds us back.
And there are 3 things to keep in mind when you see it:
- Fear is an emotion. It isn’t who or what you are.
- Judging yourself for being afraid can cause more problems and pain than being afraid.
- Judging yourself for judging yourself is a great way to stay stuck.
“Being honest” does not mean labeling – others OR yourself! Putting a label on yourself takes one little part of you – a trait or emotion or thought – and puts a spotlight on it so that’s what you see about yourself. You “own” it in a deeper way.
It’s a little like pouring concrete around that one part, making it hard and fixed. It keeps you stuck there.
When you tell yourself, “This is who and what I am. I AM a big chicken.” then you believe it. And so you start acting on it. Because that’s who or what you are. You just said so.
The problem with that is IT’S JUST NOT TRUE.
Who you are is an incredible being of love. That’s your true essence.
Do you and will you feel scared sometimes? Yes. You’re human. You’ll experience a full range of human emotions.
Does this mean you’re a chicken? NO.
WHY DOES IT MATTER WHAT YOU SAY?
Why am I bringing this up? Because your words have power, my friend.
There’s a feedback loop at work here. You see, your thoughts, emotions and how you see yourself give rise to your words. That’s pretty clear. What you think and feel comes out as what you say.
[HINT: Want to know what’s really going on inside you? Really listening to what you say will tell you.]
And there’s another side to this, too. What you say shapes your thoughts, your emotions and how you see yourself.
SEE FOR YOURSELF
If you really want to get the power of your words, actually do each of the following steps and answer the questions rather than simply reading through them.
Take a deep breath and let it out.
Step 1:
Bring up a feeling of fear (just a small feeling of fear is fine) and say, “I’m a chicken. I’m a scaredy-cat. I’m a wimp.”
- What was your next thought?
- How are you feeling now?
- What’s going on in your body?
Step 2:
Still with that little feeling of fear, say, “I feel scared. It’s okay for me to feel scared. I can accept that. It isn’t who I am. It’s just how I’m feeling right now, and that’s okay. It doesn’t mean anything. I can let myself feel this.”
- What was your next thought?
- How are you feeling now?
- What’s going on in your body?
Step 3:
Say aloud (seriously!), “I am powerful and loving and, at this moment, I feel scared. This is what it’s like to feel scared, to have this experience. Okay. I can feel scared and still be powerful and loving. I feel scared AND I am powerful. I feel scared AND I am loving.”
- What was your next thought?
- How are you feeling now?
- What’s going on in your body?
See how powerful your words are?
I’d LOVE to know what you experienced with this. Please leave anything you’d like to share in the comments below.