Have You Confused “Uncomfortable” with “Unsafe”?



They say that each of us is a blend of the five people with whom we spend the most time, for better or for worse.

It’s true that the people that surround us deeply influence our thoughts, actions and words, often in subtle ways that we don’t even notice from moment to moment.

When you surround yourself with people who remind you of who you are, what you’re doing, and what you’re committed to in life and in business, those principles will be reflected more powerfully in your life. And vice versa.

Over the last ten months I’ve participated in an intense leadership program. Knowing that every 90 days the group would convene to discuss our individual goals, challenges and progress in a very supportive environment kept me on track. It kept me focused on my commitments, and it inspired me to move through any blocks that might have otherwise stopped me.

And, just because the environment is supportive doesn’t mean that it’s comfortable!

The Difference Between Comfortable and Safe

It’s so important to create structures that support our staying in alignment with our purpose because often, staying in alignment will require us to become uncomfortable. And when we’re not mindful of our actions, we naturally migrate back into our comfort zone.

Living in our comfort zone is what brought us where we are right now. If we want something greater in life, we must be willing to stretch until the new form becomes our day-to-day form.

Think of a rubber band: to a certain point, you can stretch the rubber but it will still go back to its original shape. But if you pull it beyond that point, it will have a new form. It will never go back to the original shape.

When we stretch to have something new and different in our lives, we get uncomfortable, and we grow and change.

As a culture, we have confused “known” and “comfortable” with “safe.” And we have even confused “safe” with “right.” So, if something feels uncomfortable, we assume that, “oh, this must not be the right thing because I’m not comfortable. If this were the right thing, I’d feel better.”

Learn to Love the Stretch

Any time you’re stretching – whether it’s in a new job with more responsibilities, or practicing being more open and honest with your spouse – it’s going to be uncomfortable! And the little secret that we all know but are reluctant to acknowledge is that even though things feel safe doesn’t mean they actually are safe.

Think of the old adage, “The devil you know is better than the devil you don’t know.” Now, do you really want to choose to assume that the next person or opportunity that comes along is going to be a devil?

Often, getting uncomfortable is exactly what’s called for. Our fears of being seen, being judged or even the fear of success are often the things that feel most uncomfortable… and often keep us from the things that offer the most opportunity for growth.

Inner clearings, that is, the work I do with clients to move through their emotional blocks, can help ease the discomfort because it helps separate the judgment from the discomfort itself. It helps my clients not to see their discomfort as a stopping point, but rather, as a way to step into their new paradigm.

If we want something greater in life, we must be willing to stretch until the new form becomes our day-to-day form.

So much of stretching and growing is the spin we put on it. We can approach a new situation and think, “Oh, this feels really scary, it must be bad,” and pull back. Or, with the support of people around us who operate at a higher vibration, we might think, “Wow, I’m so uncomfortable. It must mean there’s something here for me.”

It’s the knowledge that even during thunderstorms, the sun is still there. It’s being able to remember that this is just an experience – the thunderstorm isn’t permanent, it’s not who I am, and it’s not how life will always be. The sun is still there behind it.

When we surround ourselves with people who know this… and learn to love the stretch, life can become incredibly rich and rewarding.

Are you ready to clear out emotional blocks and stretch yourself? Click HERE to connect with me today.

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