In my previous post, The World is Moving Quickly. Are You Moving With It?, I discussed the danger of trying to please everybody all of the time. The real problem is that there are just too many differences in the people around you. You’ll never be able to get everybody on board.
When my clients are struggling with this issue, the question I ask is, “Are you looking for people to give you happy, glowing feedback? To tell you how great you are? And if so, what does that serve? What need is that feeding for you?”
You’re Not Meant to Serve Everybody
Your life’s goal cannot be to set out to heal the whole world. When we have that impulse, what we’re really trying to do is fill a sense of lack in ourselves.
Even Mother Teresa served a particular population in a particular place. It’s because she did it so well and with so much heart and dedication, that her influence spread.
Amazing things begin to happen when that feeling of lack is healed and we stop doing things in order to prove something to the world.
We become free to do what really does call to us. Often, our reach extends beyond where we thought it would.
How Do You Stop Operating Out of a Sense of Lack?
This can be really hard because the need that drives us to act this way is very strong. Everyone wants love and approval and connection. That is our nature.
But if we don’t honestly believe, deep down in all parts of us, that we deserve these things, then it’s really hard to see and accept the love and connection that is already there for us.
Maybe you know someone who can’t take a compliment. Maybe you are that person! Instead of simply accepting what someone is saying to you, you immediately dismiss it.
When we we’re refusing to take in that energy, it’s incredibly difficult to be authentic. The people around you don’t crave your “perfect self.” What they really want is the authentic you.
Brushing Away the Dirt to Reveal The Diamond Underneath
Every one of us is a unique gift to the world. But we take on all these thoughts and ideas and fears and prejudices and limitations over the years that aren’t true to who we really are.
When you become self-aware, you start to see the unique person buried under all of that stuff. It can feel selfish or self-centered to spend that much time and effort working on yourself but really, it’s the least selfish thing you can do.
When you clear away all of the stuff from the past, you are ready to share who you are with the rest of the world.
If you’re ready to clear away the dirt and start living a more authentic life, I have one open spot available right now and would love to talk about whether we’re a good fit.