Through my work with female entrepreneurs, it’s not uncommon to discover an underlying sense of “stuck” in any particular area. The feeling of being “stuck” is something to which everyone can relate at some point in their life; it’s the sense that you don’t know what to do next, how to move forward, or like you’re treading water.
Often when we feel stuck, we feel weak somehow. We start to believe that the problem is bigger than we are, as if there’s just “little us” and the “big issue.”
Can you relate to this?
Seeking Connection through Commiseration
I was recently working with one of my clients on this very issue of feeling stuck. As we did the work, she realized that the stuck-ness she was experiencing was a pattern for her. She was able to identify that she unconsciously used the feeling of overwhelm – and in a sense, weakness – to garner support and connection from the people around her.
It’s not uncommon for people to do this. We gather our friends and family and discuss how hard it is to run a business. We list the difficult things, like how frustrating it is when clients don’t show up, what a failure our last talk was, or how we simply don’t know how we’re going to continue this way.
Of course we want to feel bonded to other people. For this client, one of the ways she bonded with others was to express her feelings of weakness so that others could contribute to her. Through our work together, she realized that what she really wanted was to be supported in her strengths and to connect with the people around her through loving her business.
Give More of What You Wish to Receive
When she realized what was going on, we started talking about how she could transition out of this pattern of weakness and into a conversation of strength.
Sometimes when we see what’s truly happening and want to make a shift, we’re called to move past feelings of jealousy and competition with other people. When we tell ourselves things like, “I’ll never be as successful or popular or have these good things happen to me that happened for this other person…” we’re only creating more of the weakness we perceive that we have.
Instead, put effort into giving to someone else what you wish to receive. If we want to be supported in our strength, we must support others in their strengths and successes first.
Claim the Celebration
Sometimes it can be hard to give someone else love or celebrate their success when you feel as though you are lacking. It’s at this point that it’s important to realize that the sense of lack is only a story you’ve been telling yourself. If you continue to tell this story, you’ll look for evidence in your life to support it – and the more deeply connected with lack you become.
The same is true if you tell yourself stories of how fulfilled and successful you are.
I love the saying, “The only way to have a friend is to be one.” It’s true. It doesn’t matter how big or small a success may be, when you claim the celebration on behalf of yourself or a friend, you create more opportunities to honor your wins and support each other through your strengths instead of your weaknesses.
Are you ready to claim more celebration in your life, and be supported for your strengths rather than your weaknesses? Click HERE to download my complimentary Power Shift Starter Kit and start making adjustments in your life that will empower and support you.