Big changes happening in your life?

written by Sara Arey


Does time seem to be speeding up to you?

That seems to be a common theme among my clients and friends, and one that I definitely relate to. It’s not just that we’re super busy – which we are – it’s that it seems to take less and less time for things to happen.

What does this mean?

It means that along with faster time come big changes. Life-altering changes.

For example, in the next two weeks every single person in my household will be experiencing a major life change:

• One daughter is going off to college for the first time
• One daughter is starting homeschooling
• My husband is starting a new job in a new career
• My business is undergoing big changes (and did I mention my daughter will be homeschooling?)

Does this sound familiar?  Do you have major events taking place in your life right now?

These changes can be scary and overwhelming.  It can feel like too much too fast.  Sometimes it feels like we’re off kilter with no stability and balance in our lives.  We may want to just sit down and make everything stop for a while.

Change can feel chaotic, exhausting, disorienting and even threatening.

But remember – it’s not what happens in our lives as much as what wesay and decide about it that matters.  Our perspective is the key, and it’s something we can affect.

Change can be liberating, peaceful, joyful, invigorating and exciting – if we choose to see it that way.

Notice how you feel when you read each of the following:

  1. My daughter is leaving me to go off to college.
  2. My daughter is starting a new adventure and I’m excited to see what she chooses to do with it.


  1. I want to take my business in a new direction, but I’m not sure I can do this.  It’s so scary!
  2. I’m seeing a new direction for my business.  I feel nervous because I know this is going to require me to really grow and play bigger.  I’m also excited about my new opportunities and I choose to make the most of them!


Which one makes you feel more excited?  More grounded?  Stronger?  More expansive?

Which one has you taking deeper breaths?

How we see what’s happening and the words we use to describe it are incredibly powerful tools in creating the lives we want to live.  Look at the difference in the way you felt reading each of the pairs above.  Just think how powerful it would be if it were something in your life!

If you’ve read my ebook “What You Need to Succeed and 5 Ways to Get It”, you’ll know that one practice I recommend is accepting your feelings and what’s happening.  This is very important, so I want to emphasize that I’m not talking about denying your feelings or lying to yourself about how you feel.

Notice in the second example above, I say, “I feel nervous”.  You could change that to “I feel scared” or “I feel overwhelmed”.  Whatever yourfeeling is.

Acknowledging and accepting your feelings can be very healing and freeing.  Just keep in mind the following:

  • Don’t exaggerate the feeling.  Are you really terrified or are you scared or are you nervous?
  • Be aware of any meaning you’re giving to the feeling.  Being scared doesn’t necessarily mean you should just play it safe and not make changes.
  • Keep in mind that feelings flow – what you’re feeling now may not be what you feel a minute from now.
  • Feelings are signposts.  They signal us that there is something we need to change in our situation, to be aware of, or to heal and release in ourselves.  Feeling nervous may just be a sign that you’re up to something big and new, not that you shouldn’t proceed.
  • Feelings aren’t exclusive – you can more than one at a time.  You’re feeling scared.  OK.  Are you feeling anything else, too?  Excited?  Hopeful?  Optimistic?
  • You are not your feelings.


What changes are you experiencing in your life right now?  How are you describing them to yourself and others?

Try this formula:

  1. Describe what’s happening – no judgment or emotion (e.g. “my daughter is going to school” vs. “my daughter is leaving me”)
  2. Include how you feel in the best light possible while still being true.
  3. AND  — use the word “and” instead of “but” (see my free ebook “What You Need to Succeed and 5 Ways to Get It” for more information)
  4. I choose ________.


“__________________________ (is happening).  I feel ________________

(because ______________) and I choose _____________________.”


See what a difference YOU can make with these small changes.

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