In life, our point of greatest strength is often our point of greatest vulnerability as well.
Let’s say you’re a coach, and you’re extremely good at doing on-the-spot laser coaching. It’s one of your strengths. You’re able to become very present for the person, really listening and really hearing them.
But while you give excellent coaching, you also feel most vulnerable about it or about promoting it.
It’s the place where you can get most thrown off. If something doesn’t go well, you might immediately feel like you’ve done a horrible job or engage in negative self-talk.
This is because our passions lie in our strengths: if coaching is one of your strengths, it is most likely something you care very much about, and you want to do it well.
You have to be open in order to express and connect with your strengths, or gifts. Being open like this brings a sense of vulnerability… so when you have a dream, or passion, that can be the area you’re most scared to explore.
I had this discussion just recently with a client. She’s a singing coach and was having a hard time promoting her own concerts. Every time she sat down to write sales material or blog articles, her fears came up and she froze.
During our session, she realized that all her life she’d been trying to be seen and heard by her father. Even though she was pushing hard for this, she also knew that he just wasn’t capable of it. It wasn’t going to happen, so her efforts always felt futile.
Now, having released that need, not only is it easier for her share her own voice, but she’s also able to accept her father as is he and the love that he can give.
You Are Surrounded By Infinite Possibility
Sometimes we’re afraid of going more deeply into our passions and being visible as who we are because we’re afraid we’ll cut out other opportunities. This makes playing small feel safer and smarter. That’s a common – and inaccurate – way of thinking.
The truth is that you’re always surrounded by infinite possibilities.
Imagine that all these possibilities are lights. When you take a step forward, some of the lights behind you go out as those possibilities go away.
And new lights in front of you go on. You still have an infinite number of possibilities! The key is not to get so focused on the lights that are going out that you miss all of the lights that just came on.
And these new possibilities are more in alignment with what you really want. They are on your path moving forward.
You Are Always Safe
When we play big, one of the things we have to do is give up the illusion that we have certainty. Many people will advise you not to go into your own business, but to do something “safe” instead. To them, a job means safety and security.
Yet you truly have no control.
The safety in that situation is an illusion. Big businesses fail and people lose their jobs for a number of reasons, many of which are out of their hands.
When you create your own business, when you take a step to be bigger, you have to give up the illusion, at least in part, that you can just stay in one place and be safe.
True safety comes from continuing to grow, continuing to embrace what’s in front of you, and continuing to become bigger with each step.
When you look at the sky, you can only see a piece of what is really there. And yet, you still see an infinite number of stars. When you feel like you have to give something up, remember that there are still infinite possibilities in front of you.
Have you ever had the experience of one light going out, only to have another, greater one appear in front of you? Share your experience in the comments below.