written by Sara Arey
This is the 5th and final article in a series about finding and releasing stuck energy.
In previous posts, we looked at how we empower ourselves when we:
- stop saying no to the wrong things
- expand into receiving
- keep standing back up
These practices help us get moving again when we’re feeling drained and powerless. They help us re-center ourselves when we get off track and feel more energized.
This last key is a biggie. It may take some practice for it to really sink in. Some of my clients have needed to have several sessions before they felt clear enough to use it easily. This key is also one of the most empowering things you can do for yourself when you’re really feeling “in it”. It’ll also make Key #4 SO much easier and more powerful.
This is how it works. Picture a time when you were discouraged, when you felt overwhelmed by your S.T.U.F.F. Maybe it was when someone did something that hurt you or when something you were counting on didn’t work out. Are you there?
Now, notice what thoughts you’re having. Are they something like these?
- Oh, no!
- This isn’t fair!
- This isn’t right!
- What am I going to do now?
- These things never work out for me!
How does your body feel? Notice any tension in your neck and shoulders? Are you hunched over? Is your stomach in a knot?
Now say this:
There’s nothing wrong here.
“What?!”, you say. “Of course there’s something wrong! Didn’t you see what happened?”
Just let those thoughts come up. And say it again.
There’s nothing wrong here.
If it feels better to you, you can say:
It’s possible that there’s nothing wrong here.
Did you take a deeper breath? Did your shoulders relax? Are you sitting up taller? [If this feels like too big a leap or like there are some areas of your life where you can't apply this, I highly recommend the Clear Your Fears with Ease and Grace teleseminar series.]
Just be with that thought. There’s nothing wrong here. Everything’s okay. I’m okay.
You see, it’s not so much what happens in our lives, it’s what we tell ourselves about what happens that can be so destructive.
When we judge our situation and ourselves, then our self-image, our well-being, our self-confidence take a serious hit. What we’re able to create in our lives is at the mercy of what happens around us. We give our power over to everyone around us – our families, our friends, our clients and employers, our students, the person who cut us off in traffic, the customer service person who told us no.
And it’s not just that it makes us have a bad day. We actually change how we look at life and what we believe about ourselves. We may say that we believe everything happens for the best and that everything works out, but when we judge things in the moment, we undercut that.
And let’s face it, it’s what happens in all the little moments of our lives that matters most. How we handle the big things is based on all our experiences of handling the little things.
Knowing nothing’s wrong takes you out of your head and that endless mental conversation that’s so easy to get into. It allows you to breathe.
Now, this is an important distinction that I want to make sure is clear – saying, “Nothing is wrong here” doesn’t mean that you accept unacceptable situations or let others walk all over you. It doesn’t mean that you let go of the reigns. Instead, it gives you the space and the peace to hear your inner guidance, to make a decision about what you’re going to do rather than just reacting to what happened.
And here’s a bonus addition:
There’s nothing wrong here. This is an opportunity for me.
An opportunity? Yes! An opportunity.
This is what it can look like:
There’s nothing wrong here. This is an opportunity for me to speak up for myself and practice making my point clearly.
There’s nothing wrong here. This is an opportunity for me to get clear on what I really want and what‘s most important to me.
There’s nothing wrong here. This is an opportunity for me to practice being strong and saying, “No”.
There’s nothing wrong here. This is an opportunity for me to experience standing back up again.
There’s nothing wrong here. This is an opportunity for me to release old thoughts and beliefs.
There’s nothing wrong here. This is an opportunity for me to experience letting go of an old story and stop being a martyr.
There’s nothing wrong here. This is an opportunity for me to practice saying, “Enough!” and leaving.
There’s nothing wrong here. This is an opportunity for me to accept the love and help of others.
Deciding what the opportunity is for you is an act of creation and will. When we react, we’re not making a choice. We’re just acting reflexively. There’s no real power in it. Choosing is what gives you power.
So practice claiming your power. Choose. Decide.
What opportunities are you claiming for yourself right now?