I had written an article a while back that I was going to use about creating ease. Don’t worry, you’ll see it later.
The thing is, lately it’s seemed like a lot has been coming up for folks. I’ve heard it from clients, friends and family – and I’ve experienced it myself, too.
I was telling someone recently that it’s felt like tectonic plates were shifting and rearranging.
Maybe it’s end-of-the-year stuff. Maybe it’s pre-winter solstice stuff. Maybe it’s part of the busyness of the holidays.
Whatever the reason, shifting tectonic plates create things like volcanoes, earthquakes and tidal waves. And that’s what life can feel like sometimes.
When this happens, it’s not easy or pretty. People don’t usually sit around and say, “Wow! My life’s in chaos. This is great!”
I happen to think it IS great – or at least that it leads to great stuff. All that churning brings up old thoughts, old patterns, old gunk that REALLY needs to be cleared out.
And it isn’t fun when you’re going through it!!
In fact, it can be uncomfortable. INTENSELY uncomfortable.
When you experience this (notice I didn’t say IF), here are a few things to do that will make it a much easier for you:
1. Keep breathing.
If your response to that was “Duh!”, I get it. We’re always breathing, right? Well, no.
When we’re stressed, we breathe very shallowly, sometimes even holding our breath. So consciously breathe. Especially focus on fully exhaling. You’ll automatically inhale to refill your lungs, so a complete exhale leads to a complete breath.
You can even imagine exhaling the stress and inhaling peace.
2. Stay in the present moment.
When we’re stressed, our minds go spiraling into the future. Suddenly, we’re filled with “what if” thoughts.
- What if this doesn’t get better?
- What if everything falls apart?
- What if I end up all alone?
- What if villagers come after me with pitchforks?
If you find yourself doing this, gently pull yourself back. Stay with what’s going on right now.
(By the way, getting frustrated with yourself for “going there AGAIN” and beating yourself up doesn’t help. That gently part is really important.)
3. Don’t take things personally.
I totally get it if you just rolled your eyes. This is by far the hardest one for most people.
When someone is angry and upset, or something frightening happens, we usually take it personally. We have thoughts like:
- He’s mad at me.
- She doesn’t like me.
- I can’t believe he’s doing this to me.
Remember when we talked about the shifting tectonic plates bringing up all that gunk? That happens for other people, too.
While it’s good to be able to hear feedback and get the (sometimes) valuable input, also keep in mind that the person speaking has their own tectonic shifts going on. They’re speaking from their own fears, worries and insecurities. Listen for what’s useful, and let the rest go.
Oh! Here’s one more: Take care of yourself.
These intense times take a lot of energy. It’s hard on your body, your mind and your spirit.
Create some time that’s just for you. Whether it’s taking a bath, going for a walk or reading a good book, do something that YOU enjoy.
Think of the client who gets a more calm and focused professional.
The child who gets a more fun and understanding parent.
The partner who gets a more present and engaged loved one.
Everyone in your life benefits when you’re more relaxed, clear and happy.
I wish you joy in all that you celebrate at this time of year, and peace of heart, mind and spirit – even amid the chaos.